Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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