I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
