Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
