Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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