The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize