Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
