Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
so let's talk penis.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
