I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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