Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize