i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
