well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
