well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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