I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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