the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Randomize