i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
jump out the window naked night went bad
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