before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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