Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
