Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
