That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
