My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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