So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
