So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
