my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
