I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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