But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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