So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
