Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
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