i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
