will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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