I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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