Plan B is the new Plan A
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
