I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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