i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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