Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
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We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
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Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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