I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
