You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
