New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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