Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
