The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
