cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I have fence marks all over my body
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize