Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
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