paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
