You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
