I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
