I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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