brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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