those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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