Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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