May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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