I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
