i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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