Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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