i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Randomize
