I cockslap morals
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
