I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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