Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
