They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
