He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
