Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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