there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
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