and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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