she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
