I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
