sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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