"it" just moved
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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