Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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